Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.One day they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Jim suddenly fell into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there!Edna promptly jumped in and saved him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the Director of Nursing became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news, she said -:
"Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged;
since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound-mindedness.
The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hanged himself in his bathroom with the belt of his robe, right after you saved him. I am so sorry , but he is "dead.
Edna replied "He didn't hang himself..............
I put him there to dry.
How soon can I go home?"

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A guy goes to a supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde who waves at him and says hello.
He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her from, so he asks,
"Do you know me?"
To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
Now he thinks back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says,
"My god, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I laid on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped me with wet celery and then stuck a carrot up my butt?"
"No.........," she said, "I'm your son's math teacher."