The Dean of Women at an exclusive girls' school was lecturing her students on sexual morality. "We live today in very difficult times for young people. In moments of temptation,
" she said, "ask yourself just one question:
Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?"
A young woman rose in the back of the room and said,
"Excuse me, but how do you make it last an hour?"

Children in the back of the car cause accidents.
Accidents in the back of the car cause children.

A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age.
He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home.
He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet
at home. "I will have to go home and come back later." The woman says, "
Unbutton your shirt." So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair.
She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me"
and she processed his Social Security application. When he gets home,
the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social
security office. She says, "You should have dropped your pants.
You might have gotten disability too!!

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child,
a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier
Because you have lived.This is to have succeeded.

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